You never realize how much you can truly love something or someone until your children come along. Your heart hurts for them for every little detail. I know it is just the beginning, by the time they get teenagers I may have to be on some sort of nerve pill. I cannot even read them Dumbo without becoming a blubbering mess. When they have a sniffle or sneeze I am all alert ready to tackle anything but then the fever strikes and you just feel so helpless. I am sure the Doctor's Office thinks I am one paranoid overwhelming mother because I feel like I call for every runny nose or cough.
This week has been one of the toughest week's since Collin and Ella have been alive, no not because they're sick but because all I can do to help them is hold and rock them. I feel so helpless as their weak little eyes look at me as they can barely hold their head's up. They can't understand yet why I can't make them feel better, I'm mommy I'm supposed to be able to do it all in their eyes.
I feel like I need a bigger chest and another set of arms as they both weakly fight over who gets to lay on me. They don't understand why they have to share me. I try to reason with them and let them know that I have enough love and arms for the both of them, but of course they don't realize that yet, hopefully they will soon!
Finally after almost a week of feeling bad and running a fever they do not have one tonight and they are playing and laughing again, it is so great to see them smile and hear that wonderful laugh they both have!! Hopefully the medicine is kicking in and they will be back to their playful selves tomorrow!!
They are my sunshine!
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